The Sculptor's Clayground



The Sculptor's Clayground is a TV show Subject 5 watches. The only episode is S05E09. It features a man who claims to have contracted and survived Lynks Disease.

Transcription (WIP)
Hey! Today we're gonna be making a three-tiered pot, and that's with [points] clay, and this is a special kind of clay, this is gray 12 gau- gauge granular clay, and the grai- the grains in granular clay, that's my little secret, so let's get started. Now this is just a warning before you get started, if you're handling clay that comes from a prison yard, you might wanna- you're gonna have to wash your hands, before and after using it, because it's, uh, one of the easiest ways in the world to get Lynks disease, and that doesn't wash off. And check this out, this is our base, and if you've ever eaten cake or made cake, you know it comes on what? Cardboard! So, we've got a piece of cardboard down, and that's just gonna.. make- make, the, the, [gestures] the base, like, the foundation. Now, if you live in a house, there's a basement, and if you're making something out of clay, [points] cardboard. We're gonna start off with a couple just, layers of clay. [Cuts off a layer of clay] Check that out, see how smooth it is? And that's the grain from the 12 grains I was telling you about. [Throws clay down] [hits with mallet twice][wets mallet] I like to just have a cup of water on hand, and I wet my mallet. [hits with mallet twice again] And this is fun if you, uh, hate someone, if you have hate in your heart, I suggest working with clay because it's a good way to hit things with a hammer. [sets mallet down] That's our base! And I have a blue, splat.. [ding] knife, and the splat knife will just [uses rib tool to smooth clay] smooth out any imperfections you have in your life, in your family, in your home. [Bangs on clay with fist] So that is layer number one! And if you want a smooth edge, you can use a ring knife, [uses fettling knife] and this is a loophole that just cuts off the edging. We're gonna move over to the wheel, we're gonna kind of build up, sort of a gland, and that's gonna.. hold- hold it together, so I'm just gonna, again, [flattens clay with mallet] flatten the top... [puts on glasses] cut, cut... and we're gonna get a good piece to work- work our wheel with, right? Just gonna... get this going... [throws clay down] show you how this works. [Throws clay down three times] If you have sadness or evil in your heart, like I said, [throws clay down again] working with clay is the best medicine. It also cures Lynks disease, so keep that- keep that in mind, I'll have information about that up on the web. Lynks disease, you don't wanna get it, but you do wanna... get rid of it, with clay. So now we're gonna move over to the wheel [cough]. The wheel is the oldest tool in the Sculptor's Hand.. [stutter] book, and this wheel is just a regular wheel, and it spins. You can also use a discus player or a record player. [Throws down clay] Perfect. [Starts to mold clay on the wheel] (under breath) baby, baby come on, come on, baby (speaking louder) YES, YES! [Exhale] And here we are again, what does that look like? A tornado, an upside-down torma- tormado, or sort a weather front, and you can imagine this big lump at the end that´s kind of a cumulous cloud! So what are we gonna do we're gonna.. (manic exhalation), we´re gonna add more clay. [Starts cutting clay with wire] And this is, sort of a- a, piano wire or a guitar string, and you can imagine a sort of, more talented [clay drops onto table] person than myself stringing it onto a- a wooden gourd and just playing, Malagueña, which is a beautiful song that I actually do know how to play.